Get Unstuck: A Framework to Find Actionable Steps

We've all been there: staring down a challenging situation with seemingly no way forward. Stuck between a great idea and the frustrating "I can't because..." paralysis. This blog post offers a powerful approach to break free and take action.

Control: Do What You Can Do

It’s easy to constantly be thinking about what we can’t control, but this leads us to take the “inaction escape route.” Instead of dwelling on what's beyond your reach, try to identify actions you can take without needing anyone else's permission. While these actions may not address everything you want, they are also entirely in your control.

Here's the beauty: you control your perspectives, thoughts, feelings, and actions. And often, just realizing this sparks a small, previously hidden action that can move things forward.

Here are some prompts to spark your thinking:

• Who can I have the next conversation with about this?
• Who can I thank for their help with this situation?
• The next time this happens, what would I like to think, feel, say, or do?
• What is the next thing I can learn about this situation?
• What is a small experiment I can run to learn?

Influence: Enlisting Others

When we’re trying to enable higher levels of effectiveness, we will find plenty of things around us that aren’t in our control. In this case, a different question is crucial: how can I influence the situation?

1. Identify decision-makers: Who has the ability and power to change things? Who has access to and trust with the people who do?
2. Craft a compelling case: Use [[data and storytelling]] to illustrate why change is needed.  https://unstuckagile.beehiiv.com/p/4-qs-feeling-pain-sparks-change
3. Get creative with requests: Often, it doesn’t work to ask for everything at once. Instead, craft a request that is headed in the direction you’re trying to do. Here are some options:
   1. Help: Enlist their expertise in exploring solutions.
   2. Permission: Request tweaks to constraints or delegations.
   3. Change: Propose specific adjustments to processes or structures.

Also, make use of these two powerful “request wrappers” that can address risk and resistance:

• Experiments: Request a change for a short period of time, plan a review afterward, and you can all decide on the next steps. You can read more about setting up an experiment as a hypothesis here.
• Partnership: To avoid an “us vs. them” tug-of-war, strive to find an overlap of your goals with theirs. The territory in between is rich for partnership, where both of you can find a way through the change together.

By influencing situations, even without total control, you can create real progress.

Accept: Letting Go of What You Can't Change

It might seem counterintuitive, but accepting limitations is crucial. 

Here's the thing: If you cling to an impossible action, you're keeping yourself focused away from finding good options you can tackle. You're basically wasting energy on dead ends. The only way to shift your focus is to change your perspective by letting the unfeasible thing go.

Imagine you’re stuck in traffic and stressing about a late meeting. Been there!  But stressing won't magically bend the traffic jam.  Instead, accepting what's outside your control (the traffic) frees you up to take action (like calling the person you’re meeting with or starting the meeting on the phone). Letting go of what you can't change opens the door to what you can do.

This isn't about throwing in the towel on difficult goals. It's about acknowledging the current limits and constraints that aren’t helpful for you to focus on right now. By seeing them clearly and intentionally setting them aside, you'll free up valuable mental space to take on some awesome (and effective) actions.

The Framework in Action

Now, it’s time to put it all together! When you encounter a sticky situation, look at it through these three lenses to discover the most effective ways forward. This simple tool can become a powerful way for you and your team to get unstuck!

Grab some paper and draw three circles, one inside the other. Label the inner circle "Control," the middle one "Influence," and the outer one "Accept."

1. Define the Challenge: Write the sticky situation you're facing outside the circles.
2. Accept: In the outer "Accept" circle, list anything about the situation that is beyond your control or influence.
3. Influence: Within the middle "Influence" circle, brainstorm requests you can make to others that might impact the situation.
4. Control: In the inner "Control" circle, write down all the small steps you can take right now, without needing anyone's permission.

Need a Visual Guide? Check out my 5-minute video walkthrough!

As you work through the circles, remember it's okay to move around! You might start with something you think you control, only to realize it's actually a request for someone else. Don't be afraid to adjust as you go!

Credit where credit is due! Here’s the original article that inspired this model, Diana Larsen’s Circles and Soup. 

Take Action!

Once you've mapped out your situation, identify the most impactful actions from the "Control" and "Influence" circles. Then, go out there and make it happen!

Feeling stuck is a common experience, but it doesn't have to hold you back. Use this framework to gain clarity, find your agency, and move forward with confidence!

And that's how you can get unstuck!

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